PERFORMANCE + DIRECTING

"I’ve always classified THE CRUCIBLE as one of my all-time favorite plays, and, up until now, I haven’t been able to articulate why I love it so much. When I read it for the first time in my high school junior AP Literature class, I was much more fascinated by the village girls than I was about the play’s main character, John Proctor. Much like what is demonstrated in JOHN PROCTOR IS THE VILLAIN, I was taught to look at John Proctor as one of theatre’s greatest heroes—a man who is honorable, brave, and good. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get behind that idea. Much like the character, Shelby, I was partial to Abigail. It felt wrong to be so enthralled by her, but something about her comforted me. She was completely broken and desperate for Proctor’s love. I didn’t question her hysteria—I thought it was justified. Abigail probably heard things she didn’t want to hear. Maybe Proctor asked her to do things she didn’t want to do. Maybe she was sent pictures she didn’t want to see. Perhaps she was touched in places she didn’t want to be touched. I think it inspired me that, despite being sexually abused and groomed, she found a way to maintain power. But in a sea of people questioning the validity of Abigail’s experience, how could I say anything? And so, in the back row of my AP Lit class, I stayed silent. I could’ve said something. I never did. My silence, as is the case with most individuals who were assigned female at birth, has manifested itself into diffidence and unnecessary apologizing. When we began rehearsals for JOHN PROCTOR IS THE VILLAIN, I jokingly started a “sorry” tally because the word was said repeatedly in both the script and our rehearsals. Whenever someone in the rehearsal room said “sorry,” we’d add a tally mark. The word “sorry” is said 76 times in the play. As I write this, a little over a month into rehearsals, we have said “sorry” over 350 times outside of the script. By the time you’re reading this, that number has likely reached 500. The word “sorry” is never said in THE CRUCIBLE. I’ve found that THE CRUCIBLE is a story about women taking power over their lives when they have been given none. That’s why I love it so much. The village girls take every possible measure to prioritize their survival. When their rights as humans are practically nonexistent, they find a way to defend themselves and make themselves seen. They are tired of enduring pain. They are tired of silence. They are tired of apologizing. As you watch our production of JOHN PROCTOR IS THE VILLAIN, I beg you, listen to them."